Hey, DEV.to community!
Among all these serious posts, I thought it would be cool to have some fun posts. Then I searched for related tags, and I saw that YES THERE IS A JOKES TAG!
This is gonna be a fun post so, any relation between any of these steps and anything is coincidental.
Have fun!
Buy a gaming Laptop
Every programmer needs a cool laptop (DAAH), it should have a cool CPU like Core i9 or at least Core i7.
It should have RGB features and also 4K screen resolution.
Keyboard being RGB can have a great effect on your application's quality.
Tree
Open the mysterious black screen and type tree let it go as far as it goes and show it to your friends. The longer your tree is, the more professional you are.
Install a cool Linux distro
A cool Linux distro is the one no one knows how to use it (maybe even you). The more complicated and non-graphical it looks it adds to your reputation more and more.
Try to learn some basic commands and use them in the Terminal. This is a bonus point.
Dark IDE
This one is really crucial. If you don't use a dark theme on your IDE you are not a programmer at all, no chance, don't try.
Learn some cool words
This is the second most important thing ever. Learn some cool words related to programming even though you don't know how they work. The word you know might not even exist.
BUT BE CAREFUL! This can only work among your non-programmer friends.
Some of these words can be useful: API, Framework, Web Server, IDE, Compiler, Bug
Some more advanced words: RegEx, Intrepret, Data Structure, Data Type, DNS, Git
Some more more advanced words: RDBMS (Relational database management system), NoSQL, MVC, HMVC, LAMP, JAMStack, Version controlling
You can also make some as I said (dangerous trick though), like: BCA (Bidirectional Connection Architecture). LOL
But always remember what they mean in case anyone asks you, so you don't get stuck.
Versions
We'll this is a rescure plan actually. In case you wrote a code infront of your friends and it doesn't work, always blame the compiler's versions or the programming languages version.
Stickers
I almost forgot this one.
Spend at least 100 bucks on programming stickers and stick them to your laptop. The less visible place on your laptop, you are a cooler programmer.
Use Vim
Always use Vim. And let every one know you are using it.
By @deciduously
What are somethings you've done like this before? To be cooler? Write them down in the comments section and I will add the good ones to the list.
Top comments (12)
I didn't see the intro at first and was very worried there for a second. Yikes. But thumbs up for VIM requirement. Because, you know, nobody is an actual developer unless the specifically use vim on arch.
Haha
So you were like: "WTF is this guy talking about? Is he retarded or something?"
Haha. Yes. Although I do like the Razer laptops admittedly.
Gotta use Vim for everything, and make sure everyone knows you do.
That and the fact you use Arch and i3.
psh, i3? Noob.
xmonador bust.I think you went too far, A few years ago I used xmonad for a couple of weeks and I got so awesome I couldn't stand my own reflection I almost stop being the most humble in my group, so I changed to other WM. And by the way in that case you should go for dwm, if you don't have to patch and recompile just to change a config you are not a real programmer.
unavoidable reference xkcd.com/378/
....no but for real
xmonadis actually really fantastic. I'm a KDE Plasma convert now but I still switch to it sometimes. It didn't make me a programmer, though.LOOOOOOOL
About the dark background tho, about 20min with a light one and my eyes get a lovely reddish color. Green fonts tho, that's vital, 1337 hax04 don't need highlights and also some cool fonts, doesn't matter if they are hard to read, they have to look cool.
And you missed cmatrix github.com/abishekvashok/cmatrix
Lo del IDE oscuro, ayuda muchísimo. Al menos el light... Perfecto para saturar ojos.
Ahh
Un chico espanol escribio un comentario en mi poste.
Yes, it actually helps the eyes. It is impossible to write codes on a light theme.
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