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Ben Halpern
Ben Halpern Subscriber

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How many software developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That’s the setup. What’s the punchline?

Top comments (102)

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jackharner profile image
Jack Harner 🚀

1 developer and a 3.4 Gb node_modules folder.

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peiche profile image
Paul

I feel personally attacked

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jakenherman profile image
Jaken Herman

This hurts 😔

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saschadev profile image
Der Sascha

Why? Do you nedd only 2.1GB?

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adam_cyclones profile image
Adam Crockett 🌀

It's not the size it's how you use I.T that counts.

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rhymes profile image
rhymes

ahhahha genius 🥳🤣

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thebouv profile image
Anthony Bouvier

None. That's a hardware problem. ((Old punchline to this joke. Haha.))

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thebouv profile image
Anthony Bouvier

I also like:

None. The light bulb works fine on the system in my office.

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jakenherman profile image
Jaken Herman

both of these are hilarious

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netmailgopi profile image
Gopi Ravi

Mad chuckle

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foresthoffman profile image
Forest Hoffman

Oldie, but a goodie

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cjbrooks12 profile image
Casey Brooks • Edited

We can't know how many resources we need until we:

  1. Write a User Story and add it to the backlog
  2. Resolve dependencies amongst other teams who are providing us with the lightbulb and the socket
  3. Estimate the Story using the Fibonacci point system
  4. Determine capacity for our team members in the upcoming sprint
  5. Pull the story into next sprint and assign specific tasks
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offendingcommit profile image
Jonathan Irvin
  1. Get a developer to go get the lightbulb
  2. It's blue, the customer wanted white.
  3. Take the blue light back to get white.
  4. The white light now is too white, customer wants soft white.
  5. Developer screws in the light bulb.
  6. QA tests the light bulb, it doesn't turn on. QA unscrews the lightbulb, places it in a bag, hands it back to the developer and says it's "defective".
  7. Developer tests the lightbulb in their own office and it works. After all, it was a new lightbulb and it worked in their office before.
  8. Developer screws in lightbulb again, it doesn't turn on.
  9. Developer realizes that a previous developer turned off the light switch and cut all of the wires.
  10. Developer quietly weeps in the corner, questioning their life decisions. ...
  11. A new developer walks in and duck-tapes a new socket, wires it up with paperclips and rigs a switch. Light is dimly lit, held together by duck tape and faith, but now no one has anymore bandwidth to fix the original light and everyone moves on.

The End.

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vuild profile image
Vuild • Edited
  1. New people buy the bulb for pennies on the dollar.
  2. It gets new team, branding, artwork, photos & interns. Own IG.
  3. Go to trade shows & meetings, events with Bulb 2.0.
  4. Massive growth, rounds, ICO, top 10 on Coinmarketcap. Internet of Bulbs.
  5. 1.0 devs are now working at "Flaming Scooters" really hard to pay basic extortionate-bills & look up from emoji Touch Bar realizing they missed the 1000x but maybe 20% is left.
  6. They invest all savings from Bulb 1.0 into Bulbcoin hodl only to see it fall, knife, deadcat bounce & get delisted. 2.0 team had already cashed out & were working on Doorcoin at the time which saw an unexpected climb as Bulbcoin could be an interesting asset for diversification of their oversized fund.
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altwitt profile image
Harrison Witt

Tl;dr

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vuild profile image
Vuild

Me neither. Hope it's ok. 🤣

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altwitt profile image
Harrison Witt

I was making a joke about the joke. Lol so jokes on you, I suppose.

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vuild profile image
Vuild

That tends to happen from time to time. 😅 It's hard making a buck as a dev standup these days. I was attempting, poorly.

Your name proves you have the upper hand this time, Mr Witt.

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david_j_eddy profile image
David J Eddy

This is painfully true.

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helpermethod profile image
Oliver Weiler

That sounds more like: How many product owners...

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awwsmm profile image
Andrew (he/him) • Edited
npm install punchline
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alvaromontoro profile image
Alvaro Montoro • Edited

You could have done npm install -g punchline and make the whole world laugh at once

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vuild profile image
Vuild

You could have done it in CSS Alvaro while eating Italian tapas.

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alvaromontoro profile image
Alvaro Montoro

Wait, what?

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vuild profile image
Vuild

Was referencing/joking about the paella food tweet & your daily CSS experiments in one. Supposed to be abstract humor but it was a terrible attempt. Sorry. 😳

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adam_cyclones profile image
Adam Crockett 🌀

I can guarantee that's a thing without looking it up.

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adam_cyclones profile image
Adam Crockett 🌀 • Edited

I couldn't help it, I looked it up, it's not a thing. I will give it 5 mins and I'm sure somebody will have take it.

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vip3rousmango profile image
Al Romano • Edited

This needs to be a thing. CLI of random "dad jokes" maybe??

EDIT: Made it a thing - npmjs.com/package/@vip3rousmango/p...

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jeremy profile image
Jeremy Schuurmans

It's not a CLI, but this has dad jokes galore!

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adam_cyclones profile image
Adam Crockett 🌀

Punchline is a dad joke AI trained from said cli?
Features:

  • can rate your joke
  • makes jokes from titles of projects in npm
  • comes with a webpack loader
  • integrates with all major Frontend frameworks
  • Has literally 100's of critical issues, but it's on the backlog 😅

I think we have a product here?

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adam_cyclones profile image
Adam Crockett 🌀

Dear god, Jeremy. I'm ... speachless.

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david_j_eddy profile image
David J Eddy

npmjs.com/package/punchline

punchline
0.1.1 • Public • Published 4 years ago

It's a thing.

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adam_cyclones profile image
Adam Crockett 🌀

Curse my inability to use a keyboard. I wonder what it does.

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david_j_eddy profile image
David J Eddy

Not surprisingly; punchline is an actual package: npmjs.com/package/punchline

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tvanantwerp profile image
Tom VanAntwerp

What dev has time to screw in their own lightbulbs? Just use AWS CloudBulb--abstracts away all the details and they've got a free tier!

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cjbrooks12 profile image
Casey Brooks

Too bad their pricing model is nearly impossible to comprehend. You can't just buy the lightbulb, you have to individually purchase the glass and choose its shape, thickness, opacity. Then you need to pick your filament (from among 17 different shape variations, each in a number of different lengths), decide what kind of screw cap you need (I didn't even know there was more than one option!), and estimate the cost-per-minute given the expected wattage load and service up-time.

But once you've got all that figured out, you'll never need to worry about lightbulbs again! At least until the requirements change...

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vuild profile image
Vuild

It's changed since you posted this.

Bulbs, sockets & houses are now a sealed single unit & not user serviceable. To change your bulb please upgrade to our latest house range.

We have houses in succulent pink, lavish lavender, boundless blue & chartreuse. Two sizes.

3 months of free smart door (then $9.99.99 pm). bOS compatible only.

Windows not included.

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quozzo profile image
Quozzo

If you do opt for the optional Windows you will also receive a load of bloatware and occasionally and unexpectedly the house will somehow crash.

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david_j_eddy profile image
David J Eddy • Edited

~stab~ right at the hear there Tom. :D

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vuild profile image
Vuild • Edited

Bulbweaver

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vuild profile image
Vuild

Don't you dare make this my next most popular comment.

Sometimes I actually post info. 😳

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mindravens profile image
Jorge Luis

One to actually screw the lightbulb and 30 to say that they could've done it better.

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steelwolf180 profile image
Max Ong Zong Bao

Hahaha reminds me of this from Toggle that talks about it. Toggle Light Bulb

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chiangs profile image
Stephen Chiang

Throwing more devs at it won't solve it faster.

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deciduously profile image
Ben Lovy

Ah, the mythical man-bulb

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stegriff profile image
Ste Griffiths

I'm here for this

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ryansmith profile image
Ryan Smith

closed as off-topic on May 30 '19 at 4:20
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locked on May 30 '19 at 4:20
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vuild profile image
Vuild

👀🤣