If you could rename JavaScript to be more self descriptive...

WebScript. Or maybe better DynaScript? (dynamic but also sometimes as dangerous as dynamite ;)

I actually like a lot its original working title Mocha, I wish they had kept it. Even though it's not particularly descriptive, at least it's honest about not having anything to do with Java.

WTFScript... "why it is doing this"

TypeScript

• Paradigm-agnostic application language
• Developer-forgiving interpreted language
• With great power comes great responsibility

InterfaceScript

AnyScript... Cuz it's lack of rigidity kinda allows you to make pretty much anything.

MoneyMoneyMoneyScript

Java

BrowserScript...ah crap nodejs. Let's call it AES asynchronous event script :)