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we_coded: Outsider Insights

Erin A Olinick on March 07, 2024

An Ill-fitting Suit As a queer woman working in tech, I've often found myself navigating rooms where I'm the only woman and the only que...
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Rachel Fazio

WE LOVE YOU ERIN!!!!!! This was an incredible read. We are lucky to have leaders who are as thoughtful as you. Forever happy to be on your team.

Side note:

No matter how I tried to adopt them, it always felt like I was wearing a suit for a much larger, stiffer person, and it smelled of mothballs – a fashion from an earlier era that folks were trying too hard to still make cool.

I read this as meatballs instead of mothballs and thought that was very funny.

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Erin A Olinick

Thank you, @rachelfazio! I adore working with, co-creating with, and learning from you! 🤗 And a meatball-scented suit sounds more appealing than a mothball suit.

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Rachel Fazio

Extremely true.

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Michael Tharrington

Holy crap, Erin. You got me teary-eyed with this. 🥲

The only should I wanna put on you right now is that you should be proud.

I'm so glad you found the suit that fits ya right and you completely rock it! You are an exceptional leader and the way you approach things is exactly as how you described here:

This is fulfillment for me – being a leader who empowers and supports others on their journey. It's a role that's often overlooked, just like us petite folks and those who don’t fit the traditional mold. But it’s incredibly important. Leading from a supportive position isn't just about managing tasks from the sidelines; it's about getting to know people, seeing their unique talents and nurturing them, making space for growth and change, and championing inclusivity. It's about recognizing the importance of every individual contribution and creating an environment where everyone feels valued and heard. And yeah, it's about saying "we" a lot.

I feel extremely fortunate to have you as a manager and I most certainly see you as a leader and role model! You are a rock-solid support for us on the team and your strengths shine through in the way that you work with and treat others. Just to say, I will happily continue to follow your lead! 😀

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Erin A Olinick

Now who's crying? I've said it before and I'll say it over and over again: I feel incredibly fortunate to work alongside you. This community is SO lucky to have you. And I am inspired by you every day. 💚

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Christine Belzie • Edited

What I lacked in programming skills, I made up for with genuine curiosity and a willingness to learn.

Well said, @erinao. This is one major lesson I learned from being apart of friendly open source communities. I used to think I did not have a place in open source due to coming from a Humanities background. It took a few people and some research for me to realize that I have some to bring to the table. Sometimes, it takes a while for us to learn that what we currently have can bring value. Thanks for sharing your story, and never stop being you.

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Erin A Olinick

Thank you, @cbid2. And ditto! I love seeing your contributions on DEV, and I see the way you reach out to and uplift folks across the community. Appreciate you!

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András Tóth

I just want to add that I'm sick of the alpha-male advice of being loud, power poses, being strict and so on. We have an epidemic of needless posturing of insecure leaders and politics in the work place. I do value folks whose energies are softer, who can collaborate, who can motivate, who are curious and not dismissive. You see, many of us in engineering are wired very differently and we dislike being dismissed without being heard.

A person with whom you can have a disagreement and reach a smart agreement with is golden. What you do sounds way more professional than what was told to you. Because you valued people over processes (or advices in this case).

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Jess Lee

That was such an excellent, compelling, and relatable read. Thank you for being you, and sharing this with us 💜

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Thomas Bnt ☕

Your desire to do good and to be seen as someone who can melt away around a table, it hurt my heart to read that. We're still in an area where we have to keep quiet or be someone we don't necessarily want to be, in order to be "visible". But sometimes that's not the case, and we can fall into an endless pit where we hurt ourselves and become toxic for those around us.

So well done to you for getting over it! I think it was difficult to find a good voice again and express yourself without necessarily becoming someone else. ❤️🙌

It's so nice to think for others, but putting on a huge weight to make a good impression, both for yourself and for a community that shouldn't be silenced, no one should be silenced.

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Travis

WOW! Thank you for your authentic and empowering share. Your story will stay with me, reminding me to stay strong, lift others up, and continue striving for a more equitable future. You've inspired me to be braver in my advocacy efforts.

Thank you, Erin!

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Oracle Sean ♠️

Thanks for sharing your story. Our youngest came out as non-binary two years ago, and I've watched them grow into their "suit." I cannot imagine the courage it takes to just exist when so many view you as "other" and try to force you back into a box that doesn't fit. I wish for a world where you and they don't have to debate a right to exist, let alone fight for an equal seat at the table.

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Paweł Ciosek

Great post! 👏👏 Thank you! 🙏

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Alex T

Bold, honest, authentic, expressive self affirmation write-up. nice breeze over coding table. Like it. Thank you.