Iāve learned something crucial over the yearsāwho you hang around with matters a lot. It shapes your thinking, your actions, and ultimately, your success in every area of life. Whether itās at work, with family, friends, in the gym, or even in relationships, Iāve seen firsthand how being around people who are doing better than you can shape you in ways you may not even realize.
How Surrounding Yourself with the Right People Helped Me š
1. At Work: Pushing My Limits
In my early years as a software engineer, I used to stick around people who were at my level or, sometimes, even less ambitious. Sure, it was comfortable, but it didnāt push me to grow. One day, I started interacting with people who were killing it in their careersāleaders, senior engineers, and even my boss.
What happened?
I began to challenge myself more. I took on projects that I thought were out of my reach. Their ambition rubbed off on me, and I began to see work not just as a job but as a way to push my limits.
Example:
I noticed that when I hung around senior engineers, I picked up on their problem-solving approaches and mindset. They wouldnāt just solve the immediate issueāthey would think about long-term solutions. I started doing the same, and my work improved drastically. š
2. At Home: Family Dynamics
At home, we tend to stick with who we are comfortable with. But Iāve seen the difference between families who support each otherās growth and those who pull each other down. Hanging out with family members who are goal-oriented and positive shaped my own family values.
Example:
I have a cousin whoās always looking for new ways to grow his business, stay fit, and balance family life. Every time I chat with him, I get inspired to set better routines, to dream bigger, and to think of ways I can be a better person at home.
In contrast, Iāve seen family members who constantly complain about their situations, and guess what? Nothing ever changes for them. Staying around people like that would have drained me and probably made me negative too.
3. Social Life: Uplifting vs. Draining People
Your friends shape a huge part of who you are. You might not realize it, but the conversations you have with them influence your thoughts, your decisions, and even your confidence.
When I started spending more time with friends who were doing better in lifeāfinancially, mentally, or even just in their energy and attitudeāI began to notice a shift in myself. I started thinking bigger and became more goal-oriented. Hanging with people who have a positive mindset makes life feel more like an opportunity and less like a series of problems.
Example:
One of my close friends runs a successful startup, and every time we talk, I walk away feeling like I can take on the world. On the flip side, when I spent time with friends who constantly complained about their jobs or the economy, I noticed it drained my energy and left me feeling negative.
4. In the Gym: You Get What You Surround Yourself With
This oneās simple but powerful. If youāre working out with people who are fitter than you, guess what happens? You push yourself harder. Hanging with gym buddies who are more disciplined has made me more consistent with my workouts and helped me reach goals I thought were out of my reach.
Example:
I have a gym buddy whoās way ahead in terms of fitness. I used to dread leg day (donāt we all? š
), but seeing him crush it made me realize I could do better. Now, I actually look forward to it because Iām seeing gains I never thought possible. šļøāāļø
The Flip Side: The Danger of Negative People ā ļø
Now, what happens when you hang around people with a negative mindset? They drain your energy, time, and even your resources. Itās not just about wasted hours; itās about wasted opportunities. You could be investing your time in growth, learning, or building something meaningful, but instead, youāre pulled into a cycle of complaints and excuses.
Example:
A while back, I used to hang out with a group of friends who were always complainingāabout their jobs, their relationships, even the weather! I noticed that after spending time with them, Iād feel unmotivated and less productive. It was almost like I was taking on their negative energy.
Eventually, I distanced myself and started hanging out with people who were hustling, growing, and challenging themselves. The difference was night and day. My mood, productivity, and mindset shifted dramatically. āØ
The Investment That Compounds Over Time š
Think of surrounding yourself with the right people as an investment. The benefits donāt show up immediately, but over time, they compound. Every conversation, every shared experience with someone who is doing better than you is an opportunity to learn and grow.
Example:
Spending time with successful people helped me improve how I present myself in meetings. I started paying attention to how they communicate, how they handle challenges, and how they think ahead. Slowly but surely, it transformed the way I approached work, and I started getting noticed for it.
How It Shaped My Character and Intellectual Conversations š§
One of the most significant changes I noticed was in my conversations. When you hang around people who think critically, who are ambitious, and who are positive, your conversations become more intellectual and thought-provoking.
I found myself engaging in deeper conversations about business strategy, self-improvement, and even global issues. This shaped my character and expanded my worldview. Iām no longer just a participant in conversations; I actively contribute, and I can hold my own in discussions with people far more experienced than I am.
Final Thoughts: Find Opportunities in Problems š±
At the end of the day, itās all about who you choose to surround yourself with. Yes, we all face challenges, whether itās at work, home, or in the gym, but if you spend time with the right people, youāll see those challenges as opportunities for growth.
Stop wasting time with people who drain you, and instead, seek out those who inspire you, who challenge you, and who make you want to be better. Thatās how
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