The programmer, an offshoot of the Great Ape family, closely related to chimps and guerrillas, distinguished by its minimal bipedal movement and ability to stare at a computer screen for the majority of its lifetime. There's an estimated 30 million specimens alive in the world today. Normal humans use stereotypes to help understand and generalize this unusual variant, which experts estimate are about 99% accurate about 12% of the time.
In this article, we'll take a look at 10 different programmer stereotypes to find out which one you fall into:
1. The Gear Head 💻🚀
This variant owns the bleeding edge version of everything like:
- M1 Mac
- Big ass curved monitor
- Mechanical keyboard
- Tesla in garage
- AI generated synthetic meat in fridge
He goes wherever hype train takes him (Java -> jQuery -> GraphQL). If it's trendy, it belongs in his stack!
2. The Tech Hater 😠📵
Knows how unreliable & dangerous code can be (Rack25 Incident). He'd never buy remotely summonable car or smart lock on his house because NSA probably has backdoor access.
His farmhouse contains:
- Single monitor Linux machine
- Flip phone
- Gold bullion And don't forget that shotgun barrel pointed!
3. The Introvert 🙇♂️💭
A savant who still sleeps in car bed; ideal lifestyle is quarantine for others.
Super good at math & programming w/o Google/Stack Overflow but couldn't hold conversation.
Extroverts like Jobs exploit these nerds!
4 . Bro Grammer 👨💼💪🏽😎
Got CS degree while mostly partying with frat; better communication skills but lesser code quality. He refuses to test because TDD is for losers.
Eventually evolves into your manager!
5. The Female Programmer 💻👩💼
Women used to dominate programming space:
- Kathleen Booth: First Assembly Language
- Grace Hopper: First Compiled r
- Margaret Hamilton: Code for Apollo Moon lander
Code was so flawless that some think it's proof we didn't go to the moon!
6. The Influencer 🐦🤳
Natural habitat = Social media platform (Twitter)
Regurgitates code tips & hot takes all day; lands a better paying job than you due to virtue signaling.
Good culture fit indeed! 😉
7. Hollywood Hack3r ⌨️😎🔓
Opens terminal, connects remote mainframe, breaks security protocols one by one with awesome fancy animations between each step.
100% manufactured by Hollywood - Real hacking is tedious & boring!
8. The 10x Developer 🚀⚡️💯
Rare unicorn that can do work of 10 other developers combined!
Some say they're myth, but their natural problem-solving ability transcends beyond normal devs.
Feel incompetent and jealous when you see them 😅
9 . Lazy Programmer 👨💻😴💰
Sits at computer all day hitting keyboard, looks like he's copying/pasting from internet.
In reality:
- Building million-dollar side hustle
- Has remote job with $400K salary Leverages code to work smarter not harder!
Shares apartment with four other dudes while eating ramen in swag-wear wardrobe his mom bought him.
10 . Old Jaded Guy 👴⌛️☮️
Long silver hair & big white beard; only codes in C.
Depth of knowledge transcends normal apes; discovered through psychedelics that we're all just one entity hacking universe in primate bodies.
Computers are the tool to make us one again.
That concludes our presentation on programmer stereotypes. Let me know which one you fall into in the comments below! Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more 😄
Disclaimer: this article mostly transcribed from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_k-F-MMvQV4
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