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I am an imposter. You too?

Johan van Tongeren on March 13, 2020

Do you recognize this situation? I have completed a coding task. I am a senior developer and I've been doing this for the past 15 years....
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michalslowikowski00 profile image
mislo

Volvo and coding. <3
Damn, it is me, but I don't have so much exp as you. As a junior I face the impostor syndrome every day. I had the same situation today when one of the most skilled devs in my team merged my PR. But I have to admit that, the PR was made with big help one of the devs in my team. Guys are great and always help me. Good post. Good luck man!

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dreamdealer profile image
Johan van Tongeren

I ❀️ Volvo's too. I've collected three of them over the past years. One V70R, a lifted 245 and a slammed widebody 245.

Anyway... on-topic: be grateful for such a great team!

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michalslowikowski00 profile image
mislo

v70R, wow. Very rare vehicle. Maybe someday I will be the owner of 850R. Good luck!

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Michael Stelly

This is a topic that can never be discussed too much. I cannot explain the psychological changes that occurred in my head when I discovered this concept. They were nothing less than transformational. I spent decades comparing my work product to those who I just knew were smarter, faster, and had more experience in my field than I did. It affected my performance, my confidence, and my credibility as a software developer.

Then, during the course of reading my industry articles a few years ago, I read about imposter syndrome. I was floored. It had my name all over it. Imagine a fantasy movie where the protagonist inserts the key into the amazingly complex lock. The giant gears start spinning noisily and all fall into place with a satisfying, resounding thud. That was my epiphany.

Since then, I learned that no one has any more or less knowledge about my particular task at hand than I do. People aren't withholding my solution in hopes that I fail. I'm not being secretly judged as inferior. Everyone on my team is just as invested as succeeding as I am. It's ok to ask questions and not have all the answers.

What freedom! Such relief. The years of anxiety just melted away. My whole approach to my daily work changed nearly overnight. I still make mistakes and have a great deal to learn. But I no longer judge myself lesser than anyone else. I hope everyone can reach a similar level of personal acceptance. We all have valuable contributions to make. Best of luck.

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Johan van Tongeren

Thanks for the extensive reply, Michael! And so well written too!

I completely recognize the unlocking feeling when first reading about Imposter Syndrome. I was already a few years into therapy after my burn-out and I wish I learned this before. It would have helped me put things into perspective so much more.

For me it doesn't feel like it's completely over yet, but your reply surely helps me get there!

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aleksandrhovhannisyan profile image
Aleksandr Hovhannisyan • Edited

Thanks for the read, Johan!

I also suffer from imposter syndrome, both in dev and my freelance copy editing side gig.

It's funny... I've been freelancing for over three years now and have not had a single client leave me a bad review. I get referrals and am always told how talented I am at what I do... And yet every single time I receive a compliment, I can't help but revisit the document I was editing and scan it one more time because that part of my mind insists that I must've missed something or slipped up somewhere.

I wonder if the biggest reason for imposter syndrome really is social media. It's the one thing that's become more prominent over the past decade; meanwhile, we're hearing more and more about people who are affected personally and professionally by imposter syndrome.

 
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Johan van Tongeren

Yeah, quite. But I forgive you. To be honest: I was exaggerating but didn't realize it was that much. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

Also it did make me curious if I could find some stats on Github and nerd out... At MyOnlineStore we have multiple repo's and the biggest three said this about my contributions:

  • monolith (9 yo): 277,708 lines added, 168,737 deleted, 1890 commits
  • react repo (2 yo): 26,959 lines added, 24,266 deleted, 97 commits
  • comonent repo (2 yo): 5,488 lines added 2,376 deleted, 29 commits

That's a total of 310,155 lines added. Not quite millions but hundreds of thousands. Let me edit the blog.. 😝

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yaser profile image
Yaser Al-Najjar

Yep Johan, "fake it till you make it" ain't brought out of nothing after all.

I actually believe that people who don't feel like imposters (every now and then) are mostly actual imposters.

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Johan van Tongeren

I completely agree with that!

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Johan van Tongeren

Thanks. But that was a "slight" exaggeration to make a point, which is: even as a senior developer I have these doubts. To prove that it's not experience-level related.

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Syed Faraaz Ahmad

My theory: Everybody is an imposter, and if everybody is an imposter, then no one is an imposter.

Congratulate me, everyone. I have eradicated imposter syndrome from this world! /s

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Johan van Tongeren

Haha! It's true, but sadly I don't think this will actually eradicate the issue ;-)

I do think that if we talk and write about it, it will help. I think many people don't even know their thoughts about themselves are unfounded and the first step in doing something about it is acknowledging it.