I was bullied at school, a lot.
I was the weakest child in the class, weaker than any boy or girl in the class. Normally I was bullied by 2-4 people at once, including one case when few of them held me and one "friend" inserted a syringe needle into my arm. I guess it was fun for them, in a way.
Picking up karate when I was 15 made my life easier, as all the bullies f*cked off after few months of karate studies. I got disgusted with people who respect others just because "others" can physically fight back, so I got transferred into a better school.
Later I was struggling with studies and computer science.
I have totally messed up my Math exams, probably because my parents were divorcing and I couldn't keep my hands still - they were shaking all the time, a lot. While other friends were sent to special preparation courses and supported, I was explained that it is OK to go to a vocational school if I am not smart enough to go to uni.
I made it to the uni, a free place. I kept switching courses till I got into IT. Energetics -> Bioinformatics -> IT.
I was expelled 3 times, 2 times by "mistake". Uni lost my papers. Twice.
After first year my average mark was around 1, on a scale from 0 to 5. I didn't study well. Partially because I was not inspired (I just wanted to learn IT), partially because I was working 24-36 hours on the weekend, in security. It was normal for me to come to the exam after 12-14 hours of work with no sleep at all in between.
Why would I do work and studies at the same time? Because I could not afford buying food in the canteen. Because I could see how hard it was for my parents to provide clothing and food to a grown up.
I am blessed with having all that experience.
I am very strong now. What is more - I can relate to those in need.
I am a noob and an impostor, who is not afraid to accept it and to learn openly.
Why am I sharing?
It is OK not to be OK.
It is OK to struggle while studies.
As long as you keep focusing on doing something valuable for others - you will prevail. We will prevail. Nothing. Nothing will stop us.
P.S. That's all good, but what can I do?
Well, you can do something like impostorlearns.it
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