Let me start with a confession. Despite being a high achiever in school, I was miserable for most of my career as a Software Engineer. I had bad work-ethics, low self-esteem and struggled to get along with co-workers. I wondered if my life would ever get any better.
But things are different now. I have a healthy relationship with my manager and some of my co-workers are great friends. I enjoy reading and participate in a tech discussions. I've worked on several interesting projects and have learnt a lot along the way.
What caused this shift? Well, the COVID lockdown. With all the noise out of the way, I read several books and reflected on my life. The one that stood out was Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. I realized that I wasn't looking at things the right way. For me, getting stuck was a question of self-worth. I was overcome with fear whenever anything got challenging. I hesitated to ask for help and procrastinated often. My biggest fear was being judged by others.
To shift my perspective, these are some of the questions I'd ask myself:
- Is it even reasonable to not get stuck?
- Am I not growing by sticking through this challenge?
- Is my fear of judgement rational?
- Even if I am critiqued, how can I learn and grow from it?
Developing a growth mindset did not happen overnight. It took months of practice and is still a work-in-progress. I'd often revert to my old ways and course-correct. One of the practices I found helpful was sitting in silence for a few minutes at the end of each day, reflecting on how my day went.
What is great about this mindset is that it applies to life in general. I've been using it to lift heavier at the gym, get better at social interactions and learn new hobbies. But above all else, I've become more compassionate with myself and with others.
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