The title of this post might come as a shock to a lot of people because who on this Earth prefers email communication over something as instant as an IM service such as WhatsApp?
I have always disliked IM services ever since I started using WhatsApp years ago. There is a sense of urgency when it comes to using IM services which I do not like, every message that comes in feels as if it has to be attended to immediately and to me this creates a false expectation and reduces one's ability to prioritize what is important versus what is not.
I like to think of a digital solution to something as a virtual reflection of something that occurs in the physical world. Imagine you have 30 chats from different people and everyone wants your attention and everyone is blowing up your phone for something, this kind of thing cannot happen in the real world as it is impossible to split your attention across 30 different people and provide a valuable answer immediately.
You need the necessary time to respond and provide the best feedback possible without reducing the quality of what is being communicated. You need that sense of pause so that you feel free to respond when you can.
To me, email is perfect for creating that sense of pause as it adheres to a more traditional style of communication because it is analogous to a physical letter or post mail. There are no read receipts so you cannot know whether people have read it or not so you have to detach yourself from whether someone has seen it or not and if they do not respond you have to let that insecurity go. You are writing into a black hole without ever knowing whether someone will get back to you or not and that is okay whereas in the IM world, you are expected to respond within a millisecond of receiving a message from someone and this leads to more emotional problems being created.
I do not like the anxiety and frustration that comes with IM services. No one should ever feel entitled to a response, there is also an aspect of ego in this but it is good to create healthy communication boundaries for yourself and to enforce those boundaries with people.
Top comments (7)
I agree with you. I haven't yet removed every IM service 😜 But I am only using one and that's enough.
Some steps I've taken:
I don't need to know the instant I receive a message. I am on my phone often enough anyway that I'll see them quickly enough.
Some people say that I am crazy for switching over to email only but it has made a world of difference when it comes to enforcing boundaries with people. I hate the idea of communication being a passtime because a lot of people engage in IM chats just for the sake of it. My overall mental health has been better ever since I did this
I usually stop all the notification and then the decision to check them is mine not theirs. But I hear you!
I have done that in the past but what I have also learnt is that people like the attention of having 100+ people blowing up their phones because it is an ego thing. The quantity of communication leads to a drop in the quality of conversation and thus the quality of your interactions with people. The people who actually take the time to send me an email are the people I know are worth keeping in my life. There is a deeper discussion to had here!
Yes, people want to be needed. The false sense of this actually drives a lot of black advertisement patterns and approaches.
Great article, Shailen! I agree that email has its own merits for maintaining focus and reducing distractions. However, have you considered using a tool that integrates directly with your IDE, like the Leiga IDE plugin ?
Some advantages of the Leiga IDE plugin include:
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