I recently started Masters education at NC State University.
In the first week here I enrolled in Architecture of Parallel Computers. In the 2nd lecture I felt lost, couldn't understand anything and failed to answer 3 of 4 questions asked via Google Forms to the whole class. I aced the 3rd question and it was marked good by the Professor, but, I failed the other 3.
After the class, I felt stressed out and questioned my life decisions, did I make a mistake of returning to Academia? will I have to abandon my studies and return home? will I be a capable person? will I fail studies just because I am using decade old Macbook Pro 2012 with a Hard Disk Drive in 2022?
These feelings reverberated for 2 days, and I communicated with my friends what I felt.
Then, I involved myself in the first assignment for the same course. I started setting up the environment, trying to heck and peck into what is there, read the assignment, questions, etc. 8 hours down and I was able to solve it on my own.
It resulted in a drastic change of my emotional state.
I began to feel energetic, forward-looking, enthusiastic.
24 hours ago I was feeling depressed, failed, handicapped.
Putting in efforts has been sexy, and I feel in control of my life. :D
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