Help us fill the comments with some hilarious programming jokes. Okay, we'll start:
Q: Why do programmers prefer dark mode? 🌙
A: Because light at...
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A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd.
First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone.
Source: mobile.twitter.com/brenankeller/st...
The two most difficult things in computing are
Don't forget off by one errors.
I'm going to hide the fact that I hadn't heard of that one by saying "that's why it's not on the list - it's off by one" :)
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
Can anyone explain this joke?
Oct (Octal) 31 = 8 * 3 + 1 = 25
Dec(Decimal) 25 = 2 * 10 + 5 = 25
That's a great question, and after reading it, I totally needed to write down my own collection of programming wisdom.
Even more at ➡ jmfayard.dev/programming-quotes/
Why did the programmer quit his job? He didn't get arrays.
Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
Why did the database administrator leave his wife? He found out she was normalizing their relationship.
Yeah, those one-to-many relationships will do you in every time.
The comment is funnier than the OP joke! (Sorry, OP.)
I prefer light mode. Once the bugs are attracted, it makes it easier to squash them.
A programmer was smoking.
A girl came to him and said. "Do not smoke. Don't you see this? It says - Warning! Smoking kills"
A programmer replied. "We don't care about warning. we are only interested in errors"
true programmer wouldn't even pay attention to a girl 🚬
Hwat??? No way!!!
My two favourite computing jokes are quite old.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's a hardware fault.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't .
An SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. It walks up to them and asks: 'Can I join you?'
I first heard this one some 25 years ago. Authorship is perhaps impossible to establish. This is a definition of folklore!
0xA programmers
0xA young programmers began to work online,
One didn't pay for Internet, and then there were 9.
9 young programmers used copies that they made,
But one was caught by FBI, and then there were 8.
8 young programmers discussed about heaven,
One said "It's Windows 95!", and then there were 7.
7 young programmers found bugs they want to fix,
But one was fixed by the bug, and then there were 6.
6 young programmers were testing the hard drive,
One got the string "Format complete", and then there were 5.
5 young programmers were running the FrontDoor,
The BBS of one was hacked, and then there were 4.
4 young programmers worked using only C,
One said some good about Pascal, and then there were 3.
3 young programmers didn't know what to do,
One tried to call the on-line help, and then there were 2.
2 young programmers were testing what they done,
One got a virus in his brain, and then there was 1.
1 young programmer was mighty as a hero,
But tried to speak with user, and then there were 0.
Boss cried:"Oh, where is the program we must have?!"
And fired one programmer, and then there were 0xFF.
PHP.
That's the joke!
Yup. Medicare is a bit of a joke these days.
Programmers don't
trybaseball. They are afraid ofcatching errors.I think I understood what single letters in prgramming languages meant
C = "C , how easy it is "
R = " if you Cant figure it out , u R n big trouble || U R in the wrong field"
PHP = " Pee , in a Heat Pipe"
thats it ,
hope you have a good laugh and good day or night
so a CS wife was in labor then gave birth , the father asked : is it a boy or a girl ? the CS wife said yes .
it`s OR logic humor
burst laughing first time I heard it in a Boolean logic video
Great reading :) ... my most favorite is @javierriveros "This is too generic".
I have couple as well ... maybe not a joke but reason to cry when you hear this.
I would to point that the second one is not a question of scrum master nor pair partner when it would be legit.
How many Rails devs does it take to query a database?
N+1!
A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers. The bartender says “I’ll have to charge you extra, that’s a root beer float”. The guy says “In that case, better make it a double. Copied from funnpedia
A Hardware Engineer, A Manager and a Programmer had to go offsite to a meetng and they shared the one car. On the way they went up a steep hill. Once over the top the car picked up speed but the brakes failed. Faster and faster down the other side, terrifying them as it went round the bends at speed. Eventually they reached the bottom and rolled to a stop. They all got out, sighing with relief. The hardware engineer said " I think we should remove the wheel and see what went wrong with the brakes". The manager said, "I think we should call someone to come and look at the brakes".
"No no" said the Programmer, " I think we should push it back up the hill and see if it does it again."
Not my joke but I saw someone once say something like (and I will butcher this):
What do you call someone who knows how to code?
A programmer
What do you call a coder who can't spell?
Poor grammar
What do you call a programmer who can't code?
A poor gamer.
Was cute.
what did the needle say to the bitcoin miner, there is a stack overflow
What's a systems engineer's favorite entree? C-food
Person 1:Talk Data to Me!!
Person 2: // No Comment
What did garbage collector say to the dangling pointer?
"That's my spot"
One day MySQL entered a restaurant and walked to the tables in the middle, said:
"May I join two tables?"
T
This is too generic
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