Hindsight is 20/20, so what's the point if you don't share it with the world? Here's a few things I've been thinking about recently that I wish I could go back and tell fresh-out-of-college Kim. 'Cause man, she could have used a lot of help. 😂
1. HR is never on your side
I hope no one has to experience the wrath of Human Resources, but no-thanks to a unsafe work environment, I threw myself right into the wrath. What I didn't understand at the time, is that Human Resources is there for, and only for, the companies best interest. To keep things peaceful and make sure the company doesn't get sued. When I was put into a situation that sent me into a panic attack multiple times a day, I sought out all the help I could. And when team resources were no help, I went to HR to help get me out. After multiple meetings, and phone calls, and finally my refusal to leave the building, their solution was to let me go. In hindsight, I'm thankful for being proactive and finding another team within the company to hire me, because that's the only thing that saved my job. Stay out of HR Kim.
2. No one knows everything
While in school, it seemed I was the only Computer Science major that had never fixed a virus (only downloaded a lot.. thanks MSN). But, I also had never taken a computer apart.. I couldn't have told you the difference between a CPU or a GPU. Cringe right? I had severe imposter syndrome.. not even syndrome. I was an imposter. Although I did everything I could think of to catch up, that feeling stayed with me for 3 years into my career (and even some days now). It wasn't until I started asking people more questions to realize they really didn't know any more than I did. They just knew the right people to ask, and the right questions. It was a severe realization that I have to remind myself to this day -- If the CTO of a company doesn't know everything, what makes you think you need to. You got this.
3. Not everyone is here to help
I grew up in a small town, everyone helped everyone sort of situation. There wasn't a rat race, or people stepping on others to get to the top. So what a realization it was when I found that someone on my team was claiming to have done all the work I did, leaving it look like I had done nothing. Or seeing teammates be let go out of no where due to project's coming up on end dates. Let people earn your trust by being proving themselves to be good co-workers and teammates. Don't just give it to them. Hopefully you're in a great environment where it doesn't take long to establish this trust. After all, you should be able to count on your teammates for help.
4. Happiness is always worth it
There were a lot of people early on in my career that encouraged me to 'stick with it' no matter how miserable I felt, no matter how many panic attacks I was having, this is it. Finally it got to a point I decided there HAD to be another way. I was considering getting out of tech if I had to, anything. Luckily I found that a new job had the potential to solve my problems. After a few more company changes, I knew the right questions to ask to find the red flags that weren't going to work for me. Finding a job that you love doing, with people who support you and have you're back, for a company that cares about you and your family is worth it every time. Life is too short to be miserable.
5. No one else will fight for your career
Mind. Blown. Whenever I visualized my first job, I always imagined by killing it, and being completely awesome at what-ever I did, the promotions and raises would come naturally. Kind of like the movies. Maybe I'd even have a mentor to advocate for me. My first raise-negotiation popped that bubble, hard. The cold realization that I had to fight for things like raises, and promotions, and argue with people about why I even had the right to sit in on a meeting was mind-blowing. If you don't fight for your career, who will? No one.
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Personal ask: If someone is new to the industry where you work, offer to get coffee with them sometime and just talk. Non-judgementally. Having a safe space to ask some dumb questions will help so, so much!
Top comments (31)
To add a mix of your experiences and my own,
My biggest learning moment was:
Everyone has their own method of communicating, Looks past how someone is behaving/talking/dressing. Rather look at how their information can help you. Sometimes a person can be rude af, however if their knowledge is spot on, find a way to deal with it or invest time on why they are like that.
Since in the end it's YOU who is achieving something, not them.
Also... i aimed to make a much shorter comment, i blame you! nice article <3
This is a great reply to supplement the post 💪🕺
Good article. And I agree, at least partially, with all your points :)
The wierd thing is, that probably even hearing those advices at the beginning of your career, won't make you believe in them completely :D
Sometimes you just need to experience those things and learn them the hard way. Also had some quite rough disappointments at the beginning of my developer careers but... now I'm glad it happened at the beginning :) When I got back on my feet I realized it just made me stronger and better prepared for next chellanges :)
Anyway :) Always good to read some advices and see things from someone else perspective :) Thanks for sharing :)
I couldn't agree more with this.
People usually read/see what they want to see.
Unless someone experience the pain, brain might not learn the lesson.
I had a few fights with HR in different companies when it came to highlighting poor management of the team. I almost got the full brunt of being made a scapegoat in these situation because I’m a rebel and a true believer that someone should stand up to protect the team (I can’t help it, I always speak up). It’s part of my hearing loss which it has affected most of my life fighting against discrimination. I’m still standing and learning.
Fantastic insights. I have been in HR hell in my past as well. And after being laid off I learned the hard lesson of #5.
I too came into my career from a place of trust and respect. And was shocked when I learned how underhanded and devious the world of work can be. Unfortunately you must always look out for yourself. And as Windsinger below points out - document everything
Also, as an older worker in the tech industry I can't say how important #4 is. For most first world folks - life will be long. If you can avoid the pain of unhappy situations - DO IT. Anxiety is not something you want to mess around with. It can lead to all sorts of health issues down the road and shorten your life.
Thank you so much for this article. I hope many read it and take the advice
On both sides of the relationship, I need to do this way more often. So many great things in my career have come from these moments, but I don't do this nearly enough still.
Hey Kim, been following for a while and this really rings the bell, I've been struggling to learn everything to become a developer... And still not really sure in what 😅(mobile, automation, cloud), besides knowing good practices and trying to push a bit more everyday it really feels overwhelming, Im still a student btw and while I was reading your post I had a relieve, kinda odd 😅, have a great day and keep it up (~°-°)~
You still have time to figure it out! Just keep navigating towards the things you like to do. The rest will follow 🎉
Wow, spot on... Are you me or am I you? Thanks for sharing. I pretty much have or am still experiencing all of the 5 things you wrote about. The only one that isn't identical is #1, but I am being cautious because just like you said, as much as HR seem like they're there to help, they work for the company at the end of the day. Again, thank you for sharing. It's comforting to know that these feelings and experiences aren't unique to me.
That’s exactly why I share! 🎉
Hey Kim. Your last tip really hits home with me. Before becoming a developer-in-training, I really struggled with not being able to control my career. It always felt like I had to just do my job and not ask questions.
I never thought I had to fight for what I needed. There was a lot of unhappiness. I'm glad I got out and decided to train as a developer and thanks for writing this post. It has shed some light on what I should do once I'm out of training.
I like the second point the most: No one knows everything.
It saddens me to see the trouble we put each other go through. This is why I love dev.to, this community should grow more and more so we finally understand each other and understand our common problems and fix them.
You are right, Kim, we need to share it all with the world!
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