Mentor tools VI: First 1:1

Is this your first time mentoring and you have your first one on one coming up?

Or maybe you've been a mentor before but are just starting to mentor a new partner?

In any of these cases, you may feel a bit of concern or uncertainty. This is normal, because the first contact with a new mentee is an important moment in the mentoring process:

• We begin to build the relationship of trust and the safe space.
• We start to know their motivations and expectations regarding their professional growth.
• We begin to define what they will need from us and/or the company to achieve their goals.
• We establish the basis of the mentoring relationship (responsibilities, frequency and duration of the sessions...).

Therefore, I want to give you some tips to face this first 1:1.

Before the 1:1

I recommend that before the first 1:1 you gather information from your new mentee:

• their role and seniority
• professional background (in your company but also previous)
• outstanding skills and achievements
• areas for improvement
• relationship with colleagues and clients
• project/area in which they work

All this you can extract from several sources, for example:

• their manager, a co-worker, their previous mentor.
• documentation about their performance (their latest Performance Review, Peer Feedback, Manager Assessment or any other document with updated information).

This information will be useful for you to gain context about your mentee. However, along with the objective data you get, such as their role or seniority, you will probably receive more subjective information, such as evaluations about their way of being or their relationships with other colleagues.

I advise you to be cautious with this information, especially if it is not positive information. It is important to keep in mind that each of us brings our own subjectivity to our view of others and, therefore, you may receive data affected by the biases of the people who gave it to you. So, I recommend that you gather information, but keep an open mind.

During the 1:1

The day of your first 1:1 has finally arrived!

I recommend that you mute all notifications and prepare yourself to give your full attention to what your new mentee is going to tell you.

Here are some tips on how to approach this first meeting:

• Welcome them to this space.

• Explain the objectives of the meeting.

  • Get to know each other
  • Establish the basis of the mentoring relationship

• Introduce yourself. You will probably tell them about your professional background, but I also recommend that you share some personal and/or less formal information. This will help to generate a safe space or climate of trust in which your mentee will gradually feel more open to share.

• Ask for them. Although it is important to make yourself known, the protagonist of the mentoring sessions is your mentee. Therefore, asking and listening is fundamental from day 1. Some professional questions especially relevant to our work as a mentor will be:

  • What motivates you most about the work you do?
  • What are the skills you would highlight about yourself?
  • What are your areas of improvement?
  • What are your expectations for your professional growth?
  • Where would you like to move forward?

• Establish the basis of the mentoring relationship. Now that you know each other a little better, it's time to talk about the mentoring sessions. At this point, I advise you to ask them if they have any mentoring experience, either being a mentor or being mentored and how it went. You can then explain how you understand the mentoring process and how you usually approach it. I usually explain the following:

  • Role of mentoring: to accompany the mentee to grow professionally.
  • Structure of the sessions: I normally cover two main topics:
    • Follow up of daily work (project, client, company...).
    • Follow up of goals

  • Frequency and duration: in my case, I establish 1 session per month as a minimum in order to be able to follow up on a regular basis. However, I always leave the option to my mentee to choose if they want to have 1:1s more frequently (one session every two weeks, every three weeks...).

    Regarding the duration, you can also agree with your mentee. I usually reserve between 30 and 45 minutes depending on the frequency. Less frequent 1:1s tend to be longer.

  • Other matters: I always remind my mentee to:

    • Feel free to ask or express whatever you want, this is a safe space.
    • Ping me if you need to talk before the next 1:1.
    • You can give me feedback on the sessions at any time. The purpose is that these sessions are useful to you and help you in your growth.

  Finally, after explaining all this information to my mentee, I ask them:

  • Do you find what I propose useful?
  • Do you think you might need something I haven't told you?

Listen carefully to their views, discuss it if needed and you will have completed your first 1:1!

You can close the meeting by setting the date of your next meeting and thanking them for their time.

You can also advance the topic of the next session if it will be, for example, the meeting to define their goals. This way, they can ask you now if they have any questions.

That’s all, see you in the next one!