What if programming languages were human and you could marry them? What could you expect in relationships like that? This is what I think it would be like to live with four of the most known programming languages.
In the Kitchen
Java:
A good baker following recipes in detail, but will need an apron, food processor, colander, steak hammer and a cork screw to even make a sandwich.
JavaScript:
JavaScript doesn't care if the only ingredients you have at home is chocolate sauce, canned tuna and some potato peels from the sink, it's fine to combine!
Python:
Python gladly accepts any meal request you have and lets C prepare it for you.
C++:
C++ makes sure you have whatever utensil you may need, but don't expect any help cooking the food. And don't you dare buying meat that is already minced, that's not why C++ bought you that meat grinder!
What's not to like? Chocolate good. Tuna good. Potato peel...
In the Bedroom
Java:
Just bring the necessary tools and Java can run anywhere. No need to keep it inside, it works just as fine outside the windows.
JavaScript:
JavaScript doesn't understand the importance of foreplay, it believes it can get you ready during the act and finish just in time.
Python:
Can probably give you what you want, otherwise it works perfectly to invite a third party.
C++:
Do I really need to say anything more than that C++ has made a great reputation from being quick?
First Meeting With Family
Java:
Don't be fooled by your great connection with Java, if your parents aren't the right types, Java will refuse to meet them.
JavaScript:
Even though there are other ways, JavaScript is most comfortable when meeting your family over the internet.
Python:
There's a great chance your parents will like Python. Unfortunately, there's a risk they may find Python being quite slow.
C++:
There's no chance your parents will get C++ from start, they will for sure be some misunderstandings.
Mental Connection
Java:
Old and reliable but quite boring. You know Java is always there for you but can be rather grumpy if you don't follow its rules and conventions.
JavaScript:
Acceptive, versatile and will always introduce you to new friends. If you do something wrong, JavaScript won't let you now, you will have to find that out on your own.
Python:
Nice to communicate with, easy to read and will always try to get rid of all the garbage in your life.
C++:
If you want the smartest tool in the shed, C++ is a good choice. But don't complain if it doesn't listen to you, it's probably your fault it's having memory leaks.
What About You?
What programming language would you marry? What is so good with it?
Top comments (2)
Interesting article lmao!
I would probably marry Pythonβ¦
"Do I really need to say anything more than that C++ has made a great reputation from being quick?" :)))